The Art of Feeling

The Art of Feeling

Every year I host an event called I F*@%ING LOVE MYSELF in April to celebrate another year selling my work professionally. The event celebrates self love and usually follows the theme my art has been trending. 

2023's event was themed "Botanical Badass" and was all about confidence and being in touch with nature.

This years event was themed "The Art of Feeling" and centered on mental health. In late 2023 I started a journaling practice where I would create a scribble lady self portrait to represent how I was feeling in the moment. After doing this daily for months, I knew it was time to share it with the world, and decided to that my next collection would be these emotional self portraits, and the Art of Feeling was born. 

Here are some examples of my emotional portraits, each one a jumble of emotions I was feeling at the moment.

I had hundreds to choose from and had no idea how I was going to decide on a select few for my show. Ultimately, I decided to explore larger versions of some of the strongest "core" emotions I had felt. 

Here are some process photos of my 11x14" canvas studies. Adding color to my former black and white sketches took some trial and error, and lead me to create a stunning collection of smaller canvas panel originals, but  did not end up selecting all of these to be part of the core collection. 

The CORE 8

I decided on 7 pieces to turn into larger works, and later decided to add an 8th to make it even (literrally because the photo op would look cooler) 

For each artwork, I wrote a poem discussing the emotion AND made a wire sculpture of the emotion. So here I will share the artwork, sculpture and poem. 

How Love Feels

Some days I feel so happy and free
Loved by all
And loved by me
I float on a cloud of pink cotton candy 
And dance through the sky 
My heart beating like the wings of a bird ready to fly off into the sunset 
And it feels almost silly 
And a little bit fake
A bubble of bliss
A sparkle of fate
My body is telling me that things are okay
To lead with my heart 
It will show me the way
That deep down inside I know what I want
To reach out and grab it 
My heart a confidant 

I am loved. 
I am in love. 
I feel love. 

How Fear Feels
My emotions they come and they go
Ebb and flow
And sometime my body doesn’t know 
Whats next
Fear consumes
Freezing my every thought

And I asked myself for many days
What does fear feel like
The moment a haze 

To put it the most simplest of ways 
Fear comes in an instant
Appears unannounced 
Felt first in the heart 
And then all about 

That gut wrenching message
That terrible news
That leaves me with wonders 
Thoughts worries and views 
Of a world of unknowns 
The future a fright 
Fear has arrived
no thoughts in sight

My heart skips a beat
And falls deep deep deep
into the pit that has now been dug in my stomach 

I try to move 
I’m frozen 
Every step gasping for an ounce of non-existent energy. 

My body tingles
My head is clear 
of any thought but that of fear

Behind trails my heart

I am afraid. I am frozen. I fear the unknown.

And Anger may seem like the simplest emotion
A blaze of hot fury
A fiery notion 
Hot skin that sweats from a fit of frustration 
Tension that builds 

I know now that anger encompasses more 
Like the urge to ignore 
And push people away
It’s jealousy, control
Frustration, Blame
Assuming everyone hates me 

But silence or fury
Response to my fear 
Anger shows in small ways 
To remind me it’s here 

Hot skin 
Fist curl 
A Clench 
A Sear 

A gentle reminder 
To stop 

What lies underneath
My response to fear

How Anxiety Feels

And wouldn’t you know, anxiety too
Follows fear as a dear friend
Caring so deeply about my future
That my mind turns what seems like a million directions at once
Twisting into knots
But with more thoughts
Impossible to make sense of

My heart pounding 
So loud my thoughts are shrouded 
By a drum of what’s not done
Tangled in a web 
Of worries and pain 
Solutions and ways 

The tales twist 
Thinking over 
Immensely heavy 
On my heart 
And my intellect 

And the rest of me
Melting into a sea
Of deplete
Wondering where to begin 
Or if I should just sleep

And there I lay 
Alone in my brain 
Future attacking today 
My present vanishing
Into tonight

I am my thoughts. I’m in my head. I feel anxiety.

How Sadness Feels
And sadness of course
That doom and gloom 
Tears streaming down my face beneath a storm cloud so big it feels like the storm might never end.
And part of the sadness feels really good
Encouraging me to sink deeper
As if my body is addicted to the bliss of helplessness 

The tear 
The rain
Cleansing my pain 
If only

My body exhausted 
Weary and spent 
Liquid as the tears that stream over it 
As if it could wash away with the rain 
Taking my sorrows down the drain 

It’s gloom yet somehow bliss. I feel sadness. 

And much like the soil craves a rainy day
Sadness speaks to me in many ways 
What I want 
What I don’t 
What I need
What I won’t 
The fall will stop 
Blue skies arrive 
Tears dry 
a hint of sunshine 
From storm 
To mist 
The sadness drifts

The feeling of Happiness

A rainbow of love 
Bold in my mind as the sky
Bring warming rays 
Bright sunshine 

Clarity abounds
Happiness astounds 
And fun and cheer
Resume duties here
In my heart 

I become the light 
I so desperately crave 
Emitting sun waves 
My soul Radiates  

I’m walking on air
And lighting the way 
Infectiously happy 

No worries 
No fears 

Joy snuck into my being 
And I’m happy she’s here 
If only 

How Calm Feels
And a calm sets in 
All encompassing 
I’m balanced and free
Peace swirling around me

I float as I walk
Gliding through life 
Daydreaming with ease
A smile so bright

My emotions they come and they go
Ebb and flow 
But this time it’s different 
This time I know 
My feelings will hint 
Before they consume
I am ready to listen 
To grow and bloom

I dance and I sway 
Balanced if only for today
I exist in the Here 
I am The Now 
I am blissfully calm 
And i am proud 
And here in my zen 
I’m protecting my peace 
I am calm 
I am happy 
I feel like me 

Additionally I showcased the wire sculptures at the 2024 I F*@%ING LOVE MYSELF event in a fashion show with the poems turned into a song, more on that and the I F*@%ING LOVE MYSELF recap coming as soon as I get the videos from the videographer!  

 All these works and more are available for purchase! 

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