Every year I host an event called I F*@%ING LOVE MYSELF in April to celebrate another year selling my work professionally. The event celebrates self love and usually follows the theme my art has been trending.
2023's event was themed "Botanical Badass" and was all about confidence and being in touch with nature.
This years event was themed "The Art of Feeling" and centered on mental health. In late 2023 I started a journaling practice where I would create a scribble lady self portrait to represent how I was feeling in the moment. After doing this daily for months, I knew it was time to share it with the world, and decided to that my next collection would be these emotional self portraits, and the Art of Feeling was born.
Here are some examples of my emotional portraits, each one a jumble of emotions I was feeling at the moment.
I had hundreds to choose from and had no idea how I was going to decide on a select few for my show. Ultimately, I decided to explore larger versions of some of the strongest "core" emotions I had felt.
Here are some process photos of my 11x14" canvas studies. Adding color to my former black and white sketches took some trial and error, and lead me to create a stunning collection of smaller canvas panel originals, but did not end up selecting all of these to be part of the core collection.
The CORE 8
I decided on 7 pieces to turn into larger works, and later decided to add an 8th to make it even (literrally because the photo op would look cooler)
For each artwork, I wrote a poem discussing the emotion AND made a wire sculpture of the emotion. So here I will share the artwork, sculpture and poem.
How Love Feels
Some days I feel so happy and free
Loved by all
And loved by me
I float on a cloud of pink cotton candy
And dance through the sky
My heart beating like the wings of a bird ready to fly off into the sunset
And it feels almost silly
And a little bit fake
A bubble of bliss
A sparkle of fate
My body is telling me that things are okay
To lead with my heart
It will show me the way
That deep down inside I know what I want
To reach out and grab it
My heart a confidant
I am loved.
I am in love.
I feel love.
How Fear Feels
My emotions they come and they go
Ebb and flow
And sometime my body doesn’t know
Whats next
Fear consumes
Freezing my every thought
And I asked myself for many days
What does fear feel like
The moment a haze
To put it the most simplest of ways
Fear comes in an instant
Appears unannounced
Felt first in the heart
And then all about
That gut wrenching message
That terrible news
That leaves me with wonders
Thoughts worries and views
Of a world of unknowns
The future a fright
Fear has arrived
no thoughts in sight
My heart skips a beat
And falls deep deep deep
into the pit that has now been dug in my stomach
I try to move
I’m frozen
Stuck
Every step gasping for an ounce of non-existent energy.
My body tingles
My head is clear
of any thought but that of fear
Behind trails my heart
Lost
Numb
Apart
I am afraid. I am frozen. I fear the unknown.
els
And Anger may seem like the simplest emotion
A blaze of hot fury
A fiery notion
Hot skin that sweats from a fit of frustration
Tension that builds
Exasperation
I know now that anger encompasses more
Like the urge to ignore
And push people away
It’s jealousy, control
Frustration, Blame
Assuming everyone hates me
But silence or fury
Response to my fear
Anger shows in small ways
To remind me it’s here
Hot skin
Fist curl
A Clench
A Sear
A gentle reminder
To stop
Breathe
Hear
What lies underneath
My response to fear
How Anxiety Feels
And wouldn’t you know, anxiety too
Follows fear as a dear friend
Caring so deeply about my future
That my mind turns what seems like a million directions at once
Twisting into knots
But with more thoughts
Impossible to make sense of
My heart pounding
So loud my thoughts are shrouded
By a drum of what’s not done
Tangled in a web
Of worries and pain
Solutions and ways
The tales twist
Thinking over
Immensely heavy
On my heart
And my intellect
And the rest of me
Melting into a sea
Of deplete
Wondering where to begin
Or if I should just sleep
And there I lay
Alone in my brain
Future attacking today
My present vanishing
Into tonight
Tomorrow
Forever
I am my thoughts. I’m in my head. I feel anxiety.
How Sadness Feels
And sadness of course
That doom and gloom
Tears streaming down my face beneath a storm cloud so big it feels like the storm might never end.
And part of the sadness feels really good
Encouraging me to sink deeper
As if my body is addicted to the bliss of helplessness
The tear
The rain
Cleansing my pain
If only
For
A
Moment
My body exhausted
Weary and spent
Liquid as the tears that stream over it
As if it could wash away with the rain
Taking my sorrows down the drain
It’s gloom yet somehow bliss. I feel sadness.
And much like the soil craves a rainy day
Sadness speaks to me in many ways
What I want
What I don’t
What I need
What I won’t
The fall will stop
Blue skies arrive
Tears dry
a hint of sunshine
From storm
To mist
The sadness drifts
The feeling of Happiness
A rainbow of love
Bold in my mind as the sky
Bring warming rays
Bright sunshine
Clarity abounds
Happiness astounds
And fun and cheer
Resume duties here
In my heart
I become the light
I so desperately crave
Emitting sun waves
My soul Radiates
I’m walking on air
And lighting the way
Infectiously happy
Blissful
Okay.
No worries
No fears
anxiety
Tears
Joy snuck into my being
And I’m happy she’s here
If only
For
A
Moment
How Calm Feels
And a calm sets in
All encompassing
I’m balanced and free
Peace swirling around me
I float as I walk
Gliding through life
Daydreaming with ease
A smile so bright
My emotions they come and they go
Ebb and flow
But this time it’s different
This time I know
My feelings will hint
Before they consume
I am ready to listen
To grow and bloom
I dance and I sway
Balanced if only for today
I exist in the Here
I am The Now
I am blissfully calm
And i am proud
And here in my zen
I’m protecting my peace
I am calm
I am happy
I feel like me
Additionally I showcased the wire sculptures at the 2024 I F*@%ING LOVE MYSELF event in a fashion show with the poems turned into a song, more on that and the I F*@%ING LOVE MYSELF recap coming as soon as I get the videos from the videographer!
All these works and more are available for purchase!